xiaoCarol

finally remembered my password,
and this blog,
really very ulu, no one will know,
best place to blog it all out....

Whatever i do is wrong,
i can never be right...

No matter how i tried to change,
no one can notice or sees it...

No matter how i want people to like me,
more people will hate me...

No matter how i want them to forget the bad things,
they remembered it even more clearly...

i've been finding a place to vent out what i wanna say,
a blog is supposed to express your own feelings,
own opinions, but...
still quite constricted...

anyway,
realised i got a dead blog here,
so i'm going to update,
maybe this is gonna be the last post in my life.

throughout these 20years,
the only thing i'm happy with,
is something i'm going to bring it with,
in my coffin...

throughout these 20years,
i've done everything wrongly,
no matter how i tried,
it failed...

whatever i wished for,
is not what i wanted...

i've already apologised to everyone,
why can't y'all just let it go??
if u can't let it go,
well,
i'll let go myself..

i've been very very tired,
tired of living...

is this a selfish move?
i don think so,
because in the end,
no one will mourn for me,
they might even celebrate
that ..
"yeah!!! finally this bitch had died!!!"

to my bf,
i think u sure can find someone even better than me,
ur father also don wan you to suffer,
so better just forget me okie?
i'm not a good person in the first place,
you can find someone better than me.

Maybe,
you're the only who'll remember me,
so please,
i just want you to remember me,
keep me somewhere in ur heart,
i'm contented...


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been trying to live on,
been thinking of me and my bf future,
well, looks happy =)

but,
back to reality,
can i really wait for that day?

to my friends,
really thanks for accepting me as your friend,
without y'all i donno how long can i go on.
hope y'all can remember me too.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

when i settled and tell everyone,
what i wanted to say,
then it's my time to totally give up to life.

i die b'coz of a simple reason - tired.
i know many people are much worse than me,
many people trying hard to live on.
but sorry, i dont think i got the will and determination to live on.

i just want u all to forgive me,
forget the mistakes i've done,
but y u all can't just give me a chance?

i just wanted to feel that i'm important to u too,
but y can't u let me feel that?

i just have a bad mouth and hot tempered,
i've said sorry but y do u all still wanna hate me?
i wrote harsh words,
i've sorry that i've hurt u all.
apologised to u all but i still get the same treatment,
maybe this is what i get for my sins ba.

in the end,
i'm just a small little unknown creature living in this big big world,
even if i die, the world won't stop moving b'coz of me...

byebye...

INGREDIENTS:
2 large eggs
1 cup sour cream
21 ounce can apple pie filling*
18 ounce yellow, white, lemon or spice cake mix*
Optional: Freshly ground cinnamon

PREPARATION:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Grease or paper-line 18** muffin cups.
Combine eggs, sour cream and apple pie filling.
Add cake mix, but don't over mix.
Place batter in muffin cups***.
Sprinkle tops with optional cinnamin.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes.
Cool in pan for 10 minutes before removing.
Serve warm with real butter.


*Flavor variations are only limited by your imagination and what's in the grocery store.
**I made 12 large muffins and one small loaf pan. It all baked at the same time.
***Be sure that there is at least one apple slice in every cup.
****Final note: As there is no added fat, the muffins are a bit sticky, but they still taste wonderful.

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If i have an over or microwave, i'll sure make this >.<

btw, i took this reciepe from http://baking.about.com/

thought of making strawberry mousse, 
i took the recipe from frenchfood.about.com

Ingredients :
1 quart strawberries
12 Tablespoons superfine sugar
pinch of salt
3 large egg whites
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup heavy cream

Then for the garnish : 
6 fresh, whole strawberries

PREPARATION:
1. Wash and hull the strawberries, reserving 6 whole ones for the garnish.

2. Place the berries in a food processor and purée. 
Pour the purée into a mixing bowl and stir in 5 tablespoons of the sugar.
Set aside.

3. Place the whites in a clean mixing bowl along with a pinch of salt. Beat to soft peaks.

4. Gradually add 6 tablespoons of sugar to the whites until they are stiff and glossy.

5. Fold the strawberry purée and the vanilla into the egg whites. 
     Put the mixture into a glass bowl and chill.

6. Just before serving, add the remaining 1 tablespoon of sugar
     to the heavy cream and beat to soft peaks.

7. Put the cream into a pastry bag and pipe 
     (or spoon it, if you don't have a pastry bag) over the top of the mousse.
 
To serve:
Decorate the mousse with the reserved whole berries and serve

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OMG!!! Wat's purre?? Issit referring to the mixture??
And what is hull??? =x =x =x